Weak Warrior Review
Mobirix has a fascinatingly inconsistent track record. This is the company that’s brought you both the amazing One Finger Death Punch, and garbage such as Maze Challenge. As such, downloading Weak Warrior felt like a flip of the coin, where I was either going to be delighted at how good it was, or shocked at how bad it was. To my bitter disappointment, the coin landed on its edge; Weak Warrior is just a solid, consistent, slightly boring game with nothing to love or hate.
The premise of the game is simple and has been done to death countless times before. You play as a warrior clad in armour and wielding a massive sword. The objective of the game is to get the highest score possible by slaying a number of different enemies with unique attack patterns. Through this assault, your character will not move except to swing left or right, which is very disappointing, as it reduces the player’s options and control. You start by fending off little green goblins who simply march up to you and swing. After a few waves of them skeletons will be added into the mix, who can take a hit and revive a few seconds later. After bashing in a few skulls, the game introduces you to hobgoblins who will sometimes stall their advance for a second so they can punish you for a premature swing. Gradually more and more enemies will be introduced, including bouncing imps, mummies and ogres.
This slow build-up of creatures comes together to create an ever changing rhythm that the player must adapt to, in order to survive. The variety of opponents is Weak Warrior’s greatest strength and after a while I found myself playing on only to see what new monsters lay ahead. I certainly wasn’t playing because I love generic controls. Weak Warrior makes no attempt to innovate or be unique with its setup. There are three buttons at the player’s command: attack left, attack right, and ultimate. The ultimate attack is the same every time; your character becomes invincible and demolishes everything currently on the screen, then the ability is unavailable for a short period of time. Two things to note: first, the game punishes you for swinging and not hitting anything with a short delay. Second –and this goes hand in hand with the first point- creatures will beat you up easily. Your life bar will vanish in the blink of an eye; three hits from anything and you’re most likely dead. It’s surprisingly, often unfairly brutal.
Once you kill fifty creatures, you get to fight a giant tree monster with flailing branch hands. There’s not a lot of strategy needed. You just stay calm, wait to see which side it’s attacking from and then tap either left or right accordingly. One it’s defeated, your health is restored if you had taken any damage up to that point, or if not, you’re given a weapon upgrade that means all you have to do is point left or right and your character will do the rest. Then the fun of waves of opponents starts over again. The boss fights are easier than the minion waves and, like the game overall, are disappointingly dull. At least the tree monster looks impressive.
Weak Warrior’s graphics are charming. All the sprites in the game are clear, bold and coloured. The minions have quirky attack animations and expressive faces. One of the more interesting decisions made is that your character’s armour falls off piece by piece as you take damage. Eventually you are left in nothing but a helmet and your undergarments as you hack desperately at the continuous waves. It’s bizarre but it works. It’s one of the few decisions made that attempts to give this game a bit of uniqueness. Overall the graphics of Weak Warrior cannot be faulted, but as any gamer worth their salt knows, graphics don’t matter when there’s nothing underneath.
Overall, Weak Warrior lacks heart. Partial nudity aside, there’s nothing about this game that will really capture gamer’s hearts. It’s solid, stable and looks pretty, but it’s boring. At the cost of nothing, it’s hard to argue with the price, but honestly you’re better off looking to other games for addictive time wasters.